Q: You have a picture of a square egg on your web site. There’s no such thing as a square egg, let alone a thousand pound egg.

A: That wasn’t exactly a question, but we’ll pretend it was. Now, let us ask you a question: Have you ever seen a square egg? If you haven’t, then how do you know they don’t exist? The same goes with a thousand pound egg.

Q: The thousand pound egg was square one day and round the next. What the heck is going on?

A: We’ll tell you what the heck is going on, the Thousand Pound Egg can shape shift. It's our advice for you to avoid any preconceived notions as to what the egg looks like.

Q: How big is this thousand pound egg?

A: It’s big—really, really big. To give you an idea of how big it is we’ll tell you it weighs exactly 453.59237 kilograms.

Q: Isn’t that the same thing?

A: No, it isn’t. Pounds and kilograms are two totally different things. We thought you were European and you had a comprehension problem as to the size, that’s why we gave you it in kilos.

Q: I thought this web site was about the thousand pound egg. How come the “about” page was all about Craig B. Snyder?

A: All we can say is, it’s not our doing. It’s the way of the egg.

Q: How come you are always saying “we” on this site? I thought this was Craig Snyder’s web site. Is there more than one Craig Snyder?

A: First, this is not Craig B. Snyder’s web site. This is the site of the Thousand Pound Egg. Craig is merely a cross-reference. Regarding your question as to whether there is more than one of him—even though it’s rather off-topic for this FAQ—yes unfortunately, there are. Quite a few people out there are using his name all over the country—actually more than just a few—but they are all imposters, either that, or cheap imports from the Jiangsu and Guangdong provinces in China. Please be assured there is only one Craig Snyder. That’s why his first web site was called www.TheCraigSnyder.com to circumvent any further confusion over this matter. That’s also why he decided to start using the initial of his middle name, although he really loathes using it.

Q: Why does he loathe using it? Is he embarrassed about his middle name? What is it?

A: We don’t know and he won’t tell us. A number of people have told us the B stands for “Bodacious,” while others, mostly females it seems, have been heard to remark it means “Bootylicious.” Although both seem a bit unusual, even absurd, we don’t want to discount what could possibly be the truth. He has surprised us on more than one occasion already.

Q: Okay, stop everything. All you’ve been doing is talking about Craig Snyder. I thought this web site was about the thousand pound egg. Is this site about Craig or the egg?

A: First off, let us point out you’ve been the one asking the questions, not us. But since you asked, the answer is both, mostly because we just love ambiguity. However to avoid ambiguity and confusing you any further let’s just say the egg came first.

Q: I know that Craig Snyder skateboards. Does the Thousand Pound Egg skateboard too?

A: Before we say that's a really silly question, it's actually a very good question. First of all, most skateboards aren't designed to carry a load of thousand pounds, let alone the impact force that one good Ollie would produce on top of that. We have already been talking with Paul Schmitt of PS Stix in Costa Mesa, Califorinia about producing a deck that could reasonably deal with thousand pound plus Ollies. Secondly, the Thousand Pound Egg has had all kinds of problems finding proper safety equipment. Imagine, you're the egg for one moment and now imagine that all you find out there are weird things like elbow pads, knee pads and wrist guards. Helmets are about as good as it gets for the egg, and even those don't fit. So, for good reason, although the Thousand Pound Egg would like to skateboard, it just doesn't seem like it's going to be happening anytime soon.

Q: So, where is this thousand poung egg? Does it really exist? Why don’t you show a photograph of it instead of a drawing or illustration? That doesn’t really prove anything.

A: Yes, most certainly this egg exists. Whether you see a photo of it or not is beside the point. You only need to believe. The drawings or illustrations you refer to are more than enough evidence. Everything begins with a picture, whether it is an idea, an invention, a person, a skateboard trick, a thousand pound egg, or dare we even say it, world peace.